Wednesday, July 24, 2013

The current state of me.

I think now is an interesting time for me to explain how I currently feel about the game. I have watched many interviews with game developers, and many say that after the game is released, they become depressed. They compare it to sending a child off to school, or something of the like.

My game hasn't been released yet, but I think I am starting to feel a similar way. I wouldn't say I am depressed, but I would consider myself incredibly nervous to the point of minor paranoia. I consistently feel "butterflies in my stomach" to a huge degree. I don't know if it is because of the recent and exciting opportunities that I could be a part of, or because of the game going very public in the next few weeks.

For that matter, not many people I know are aware about this game yet. I guess you could say I am scared of what people will think of it, and of me for that matter. To increase my chances of success, I will have to show it off to everyone I know, and that kind of scares me. I may have nothing to be afraid of, but I feel this way nonetheless.

In addition, I am afraid my game will not be considered a good game. I won't stop making games by any means. I enjoy it a whole lot. Even though it may not be my main source of income, I will still do it. I also know this is a learning experience for me. It will make me a better designer, writer, artist, programmer, etc. But I still want people to like the game. I will be happy I finished my first game, but I may be heartbroken if people hate it, at least within reason. I know not everyone will enjoy the game, but I want people who like the genre to enjoy my game.

In conclusion, I am afraid. I am afraid of failure. I am afraid of what people will think of me. I am afraid of what will follow after this game.

I'm not saying the game isn't fun, and it's dumb or anything. I just wonder if other people will like it as much as I do.

Thanks for reading.

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